Scariest site of the day: Rapture watch. Complete with clock.
Since childhood, I wondered why so many were obsessed with prophecies based on the mistaken, lunatic mistranslations by whackjobs who can't read classical Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic. No, they say, if we search through the hidden meanings by taking the sixth letter of all three syllable words in the ravings of the island lunatic John of Patmos, author of revelations, transpose them with a mirror during a full moon, vague references involving a herd of pigs, why not to slay goats on the shabbat and how to wipe your ass with a hot desert rock are found. Entire groups of people base their lives on this tripe, hoping and praying the imaginary deity will come and kill those who gave them wedgies in high school while mysteriously sparing the righteous, which always includes them no matter how many underage girls they've married in an illegal ceremony.
Always anticipating, finding signs, but never acknowledging it has been over 2000 years they've been waiting, that is if their deity actually ever existed. The end times may come, but not with a hail of imaginary trumpets and your grade school enemies dying, but in really high fuel prices, slums, economic turmoil, pollution, hunger, expensive food and right wing paramilitary squads paid by the rich to keep the poor from climbing the ramparts. Yes, Jesus is coming, but he's in El Salvador working as a guard for the oligarchs.
Since childhood, I wondered why so many were obsessed with prophecies based on the mistaken, lunatic mistranslations by whackjobs who can't read classical Greek, Hebrew or Aramaic. No, they say, if we search through the hidden meanings by taking the sixth letter of all three syllable words in the ravings of the island lunatic John of Patmos, author of revelations, transpose them with a mirror during a full moon, vague references involving a herd of pigs, why not to slay goats on the shabbat and how to wipe your ass with a hot desert rock are found. Entire groups of people base their lives on this tripe, hoping and praying the imaginary deity will come and kill those who gave them wedgies in high school while mysteriously sparing the righteous, which always includes them no matter how many underage girls they've married in an illegal ceremony.
Always anticipating, finding signs, but never acknowledging it has been over 2000 years they've been waiting, that is if their deity actually ever existed. The end times may come, but not with a hail of imaginary trumpets and your grade school enemies dying, but in really high fuel prices, slums, economic turmoil, pollution, hunger, expensive food and right wing paramilitary squads paid by the rich to keep the poor from climbing the ramparts. Yes, Jesus is coming, but he's in El Salvador working as a guard for the oligarchs.
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